i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
