i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
