Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
