Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
