I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
