Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
