Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
she woke up with a sticky ear
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
