the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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