Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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