Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It was like getting head from an anaconda
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
