I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
