Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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