I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
