some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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