my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Randomize
