We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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