Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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