Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
