i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
