YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
