i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
