You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
