i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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