a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
