It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
