guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
