he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
