Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
