We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
