I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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