I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize