How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
