you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
