She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
