It's Friday. Sex?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
