It's like God shit irony all over that family
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Can vaginas get frostbite?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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