Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
