I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
