I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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