He uses pillows to masturbate.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Vodka?
Forever.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
