I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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