people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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