Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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