so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We are all done wearing pants today
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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