I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
