ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
