i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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