Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
