So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
why is half of my head shaved?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
