My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
