oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I said "one day" and that day is not today
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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